October is the breast cancer awareness month. Here is my survivor poem written in-between chemo sessions several years ago. The care of my family and friends, and a bit of dark humor helped me deal with the pain/suffering at the time. To all the cancer survivors, may we live long and thrive!
A Chemo Girl
Blurry vision, constipation.
You ask how my body functions?
Neuropathy, mouth sores and hair loss.
Dizzy, fatigued–that’s what I’m feeling.
You say to look at the bright side:
This girl is put on the chemo diet.
Drops down a few dress sizes.
You don’t think I will ever miss it.
But surely I am now a skinny girl
Who can still tread some serious miles.
Wearing my batik turban wrap,
Off on the suburban streets I roll.
I really thought
you were my family,
Believing all the while
You would always stay.
However long I’ve learned.
The demons of your past
Are more powerful than
The promises that you made.
We were too blind to see:
This invisible war
Of unyielding hearts
Was doomed from the start.
Who’d have ever imagined?
Your love for me
Now is not enough.
Nourish my identity with food, senses, intention and consciousness;
Feed the soul with Bartok, Haydn, Beethoven and Strauss;
Immerse in rain, spirituality, and artists’ creative processes.
Have conversations of the heart–light and heavy.
Joy and sorrows pass on by like clouds in the sky.
It’s a rich and beautiful weekend–all in all.
On my morning run I felt
The soft breeze behind my feet.
The golden sun-rays waltzed with me.
I embrace my day with the gift of ease.
Not to Grow Up
Not to grow up to be an uptight girl:
Forgetting how to truly laugh,
Acting like she is really tough.
Not to grow up to be a bitter girl:
Thinking life is passing her by,
Blaming everyone else but would never try.
The Girl Says:
Play with friends,
Run towards the Sun.